Uncertainties

It's that time of year again. Most varsity applications are actually closing today. And it's the second year I don't know what I'm doing or where I'll be.

It's funny how society has these expectations... This concept of "the norm", into which every so-called "normal" human being has to fit. And so that question is inevitable, wherever I go. It's pretty much the same every time: what are you going to do with your life? Then I think, what does that have to do with me anyway? Isn't God the author of my life? Why should I be "doing something" with it? 

But it seems as if there's no time to think in this fast-paced world, and should your course in any way deviate from this status quo, the results would be forever detrimental...

Now don't get me wrong- I'm not opposed to studying. Neither do I endorse sitting around and doing nothing. In fact, I believe, as stated in Ministry of Healing page 449, that we must reach for the highest development of our mental powers. However, so many of the quotes I've been reading lately point to something higher than the word "education" as commonly used today. And there are pages and pages of counsel regarding the dangers of a worldly education. Just think of Moses, having to spend 40 years unlearning what he had learned in the schools of Egypt (Patriarchs and Prophets page 248). You see, nothing is neutral. If our education is not bringing us closer to God, there is only one other alternative...

The most important thing is to be willing to go wherever He directs. We simply cannot go anywhere else safely. For example, unless God sends me to a university for the purpose of bringing souls to Him, I have no business going there. Quite a statement, to be sure, but isn't that what we're here for? Yes, we can be students, yes, we can pursue a career, but only as God leads us.

No, I still don't know what I'll be doing, but I do know that God has led me thus far, and I can have certainty that He will continue to guide me. I also know one thing I will never cease to study, and that is God's Word. "As a means of intellectual training, the Bible is more effective than any other book, or all other books combined." (Ed 124) I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation. Psalm 119:99

"Those who decide to do nothing in any line that will displease God, will know, after presenting their case before Him, just what course to pursue. And they will receive not only wisdom, but strength. Power for obedience, for service, will be imparted to them, as Christ has promised." DA 668

Appointments

A picture just flashed into my mind, and its similarity to the corner in my room I usually gravitate to first thing in the morning is striking. Only, this picture is different. The curtains are open, and the bright noonday sun shines in the window. Outside is a flurry of activity. This cheery scene should make the room inviting, but despite all this, it looks so cold, so clinical.

At first it makes no sense, but then I see it. My spot is empty, and He is still standing there, waiting...

Thinking of His face breaks me. The sadness...yet no condemnation. He will keep waiting. All He wants is to spend time with me. Could it be real? I've missed my appointment with Jesus, the Lover of my soul! And I could let it go by, without even bothering me?

With shame I think of how anxious I get at the thought of being late for other appointments- ones with mere mortals. I also picture my frustration, the inner rage when they are late for appointments with me. The contrast couldn't be wider.

Yes, He's waiting, He's calling for me, He LOVES me! And my response is so nonchalant as to leave Him waiting, or put Him on hold for something "more urgent". I chills me to the bone.

Will I ever learn? I'm so grateful that He never, NEVER gives up on me. No matter how many times I fall, He's still waiting to pick me up and start again.

"We shall often  have to bow down and weep at the feet of Jesus because of our shortcomings and mistakes, but we are not to be discouraged. Even if we are overcome by the enemy, we are not cast off, not forsaken and rejected of God. No; Christ is at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us." (SC 64)

That's my Jesus.

Radical love...

 

Christianity... Sitting in beautiful churches once a week... Reading your Bible at least every day... and being sure to look like a decent person when other people are watching.

Really???

 

So we know this is not what it's about... Why do we keep living this way?

Presenting a watered-down, sugar-coated, comfortable, "nice" side of life, when it's not at all what true Christianity is. A profound thought, and one demanding answers. 

 

Might there be some practical truth we're missing? 

Something needs to change about the way we live.

What does "turning the other cheek" look like in action?

Could loving the ugly be more than just a cliché ?

 

Look to Christ- in His life we see the simple, naked gospel truth. Loving them as they spit in your face! Not our fickle kind of love, which loves those who love us back. This is a love we don't understand. It goes beyond anything we're used to, yet this is what we are called to!

 

Though it has happened to people, it's highly unlikely that we will experience someone literally spitting in our face. The reality of this in our day-to-day lives may seem a little more disguised, but it's still the same, really. And we don't have far to look... No, our suffering is never the same, not near what Jesus endured for us, but our response- that's what must be the same. Like Jesus.

Stirring, relentless, compelling...

Are we willing to count the cost. Of being spat on in the face, time and time again, for the love of a soul?

 

Lord Jesus, give me that kind of love.

 

Patience is More Than Endurance.

A saints life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer God is aiming at something the saint can not see, and he stretches and strains, and every now and again he says - "I cannot stand anymore." God does not heed, he goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. Though He slay me yet will I wait for him. 

A Smile (and whole new perspective)

I saw her, and at first she looked like a child. The tiny school shoes on her feet hardly looked big enough for a kid in grade one, but as my eyes moved up the short little legs and torso, they came to rest on her face. The face of a young woman. And on that beautiful face, despite the pain in her eyes, was a smile. It cut right through me.

She was a dwarf. This was not something she had chosen, something she could do anything about. It wasn’t her fault that she was born this way, yet she didn’t seem resentful. Walking just ahead to her was a “normal” schoolmate, making her disadvantage all the more obvious.

At her age, she could have had so much going for her, but instead she must live like this. It just isn’t fair. And then another thought, one that chilled me to the bone. That could have been me. Why should she suffer, and I live a comfortable life? Not only does she have the disability, it’s obvious that she doesn’t enjoy the same privileges I do, either... The tables could just as well have been turned.

That’s when I ask myself the question, “How would I respond if I were in her situation?” It can’t be nice to have people like me staring at you because you’re different…would I still offer a smile? Would I have peace in my heart, and would I be willing to trust God? Would I even bother to pursue and education, or would I just give up, saying it’s useless?

There I sit in a comfortable car, thinking how miserable my life is because I’m battling to get internet and it’s been too long since I last ate! So petty! And to think, there are people who’ve never heard of internet, who don’t even know when they last ate, or where their next meal is coming from!

Father, help me. Help me to see life from Your perspective. Take my life in self-sacrificing service to Your children.

Thank You for a smile, undeserved…

All or Nothing

Do we really believe we are the generation that will finish the work? How much longer are we planning to keep one foot in the world? Although we never admit it, we seem to try to stick to the bare minimum. We’ll just keep our conscience "happy”, so to speak, rendering half-hearted worship once a week, and carry on with life as usual the rest of the time. We say it’s reality, we have to get somewhere in life… We seldom stop to think about what’s really important. When we have time to spare, what do we turn to? I know my natural inclination is usually to everything but my Bible.  

"Don't be a part-time Christian who demands a full-time God."

 

Rev 3:16 talks about our state: “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”   It is this that makes God sick. He can’t stand it.  And, in all honesty, we can’t stand it either. This is not what we were created for. Living a life not fully consecrated to God is a most meaningless existence. When we try, as we often do, to find our own way,  it ends up so empty. In the words of Ravi Zacharias, “The loneliest moment in life is when you have just experienced  that which you thought would deliver the ultimate, and it has just let you down.” This has been so true in my life. Every time I get to where I thought I’d have arrived, it’s a disappointment, and the next hurdle is there, ready to dampen my joy.  So life goes on, a quest for this illusive happiness, another 'If only…'.

“All is vanity.” (Eccl 1:2) 

In each and every person there is longing, a void, which nothing in this world can ever satisfy. Only Christ can satisfy the deepest longings of the human heart. So why  are we holding back?  How can we expect His blessing if we’re not willing to do His bidding? And ultimately, where else will we find true happiness?  “Almost Christians, yet not fully Christians, they seem near the kingdom of heaven, but they cannot enter there. Almost but not wholly saved, means to be not almost but wholly lost.” (COL 118) The Christian life is all or nothing. Christ gave ALL. He laid down His very life for you and me. The least we can do is give Him our lives. Be willing to go wherever he sends, to do whatever He requires. Will we give ALL?               

Undivided

You gave Your all, I just gave half

You were committed, but I said perhaps

It broke Your heart, You died for me

But I was stubborn, I would not see

I thought it was fine with one foot in world

I could sit on the fence, and one hand You could hold

I realize now: I have to choose

I must leave the world, or salvation loose

A full commitment is what it takes

Nothing half-hearted for all that You gave

And now is the time, the day to decide

I’m coming Lord, I choose Your life

© Kerry le Roux 2011

A blog behind the blog: where it all started

A life-changing journey started for me in May this year when a friend sent me the link for some sermons on www.audioverse.org. After listening to that series, I went on to listen to another series by Sebastien Braxton, entitled “Till I Die: A Study on the Commonality of Tears, Blood, and Sweat”. I had been praying for a ministry, but had no idea what I could do, and was always thinking of challenges as to why I couldn’t do this or that.  As I listened to the messages, suddenly hit me- I could write! So this blog is the result, and it is my prayer that it may be a blessing and encouragement as we seek to reflect the image of Jesus.